Alfred's Birthday
by Linkz1
Summary: Alfred wakes up one morning to find Bruce and Dick gone!  There's a mysterious package in the kitchen, what's inside?  This is a nice lighthearted one shot after a couple raw stories, hope you enjoy!  Read and review!


Alfred awoke that morning like any other. It was precisely five in the morning, he knew that Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson would awaken by six . Despite staying out until nearly two or three some nights, they still managed to get up bright and early to read the news, and review all their records. Alfred sometimes was overwhelmed by what Bruce did for a living. After all, not everyone worked for a billionaire philanthropist who works as a an ace detective and crime fighter at night. Dressed as a bat no less.

He sighed as he climbed out of bed and put on his robe. Another normal day in the life of Alfred Pennyworth, he thought. Bruce and Dick always had some wild adventures they would go on, while he would be stuck at the Manor, either cleaning this or that or waiting around in the Bat Cave for something to go wrong on their case for the night. Night time was when things really got interesting, and Alfred was weary from having stayed up late the night before. Bruce and Dick didn't make it home until almost two thirty, and Alfred had to perform some emergency surgery on Bruce's arm. He had been shot by the nefarious Two-Face. Dick luckily had been unharmed. His small stature helped him in more ways than one. If only I could be thirteen again, Alfred thought wistfully.

Creeping through the quiet mansion, Alfred cleaned up some left over tea cups in the living room and tidied up some loose magazines and newspapers. Yesterday's news, he thought. The record player was humming some static, he pulled back the needle and replaced it on its arm. Picking up the record he looked at what Dick had been listening to the night before, _Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band_ by The Beatles. He rolled his eyes, Dick always like listening to this annoying babble of music. Definitely not my cup of tea, he thought as he replaced the record into its sleeve.

With the living room cleaned up, Alfred moved to the kitchen and began preparing breakfast. Or at least that's what he had planned to do until he noticed there was a package left on the kitchen counter. It was gift wrapped, like a birthday present, in brilliantly colored red and yellow paper. He was tempted to touch it, but thought better of it.

"You know better than to touch strange packages," he chided himself. "I'd better go and wake Master Bruce."

Alfred turned and headed to Bruce's bedroom. The golden sun outside began to flood into the large windows of the living room. He ascended the stairs quickly to reach Bruce. Hopefully there is some good explanation for this package, he thought. He opened the door quickly and cried, "Master Bruce! Master Bruce!"

He looked down at the bed and gasped when he saw it was empty. His heart began beating faster, surely Bruce and Dick returned home safe and sound last night. I know they wouldn't have left without telling me where they were going. There's no way they would have done this! He scuttled down the hall to Dick's room, opening the door quickly he cried out again, "Master Dick! Master Dick! Are you here sir?"

He flicked the light switch to illuminate the darkened room, again, the bed was empty. "What the blazes is going on here?"

Alfred returned back to Bruce's room and began frantically searching through everything for some sort of clue. Where were they? He looked through Bruce's dresser, pulling out some socks, underwear, a little black book, but no notes of any kind to Alfred. Nothing. Alfred began to get more and more worried. Where could they be? His thoughts returned to the package, does that have something to do with them being gone?

Returning down stairs he clambered back into the kitchen. He scratched his chin thoughtfully as he regarded the package. There were no tags on it, so no way of knowing where it came from and what it was without opening it. Something inside him told him to search the Bat Cave. He went into the study and activated the entrance to the cave. After the long descent, which he always meant to make quicker, he called out into the cave, "BRUCE! MASTER BRUCE! ARE YOU HERE? MASTER DICK?"

The silence was deafening. He couldn't believe there was no trace of them anywhere. None of the bat vehicles were gone either. Dick's motorcycle was still there and the Batmobile was still sitting where it had been parked the night before, it's front driver's side tire still deflated from the gunshot it sustained. Alfred sighed dejected. Where could his master have gone to? Where were they?

Returning upstairs he ended up back in the kitchen staring at the package once more. What was in it? It seemed to call to him, begging to be opened up. He kept trying to convince himself to do otherwise. It wasn't worth the risk, he reasoned to himself. But until you open it, there's no telling what may be happening. He nervously touched the box, as if it was going to explode by the slightest touch. Placing his hands on it, he blew a sigh of relief. Nothing left to do but open it, he thought. The wrapping paper pulled off with ease, he then opened the box, half expecting some dastardly contraption to launch a pie in his face, he ducked. Realizing that nothing was going to happen, he peered in to find nothing more than tissue paper. This is getting a little silly now, he sighed as he pulled piece after piece of tissue paper out of the box. He then found a note:

_Alfred,_

_Dick and I have left three clues around Gotham City. We have a special birthday surprise for you! Can you find us?_

_Your first clue is this: It can be rather cold here, and the wait staff isn't too friendly._

_Love,_

_Bruce_

_PS Happy Birthday!_

His jaw dropped. Of course! He had completely forgotten that today was his birthday, and he recalled that Dick had joked with him about leaving clues around the city for a major birthday surprise. I guess I'd better get ready and head out to solve the first clue. As he dressed into his finest clothes, which of course were his normal everyday clothes, he thought up and down, left and right about his first clue. I'm not as smart as they are, he thought. Cold, he thought, that could be anyway. But cold with a wait staff. It had to have been some sort of restaurant. But where?

Alfred envisioned Gotham City in his head. Trying to think of all the restaurants with a reputation for being cold. The it hit him like a snowball, "The Iceberg Lounge!"

He smiled to himself in the mirror as he adjusted his tie. Time to head to the lounge he thought. He trotted down to the garage and left in a hurry.

**MEANWHILE**

Bruce and Dick were decorating Gotham City Concert Hall with balloons and streamers. Chatting about this and that, laughing as they threw more streamers here and there. They had been planning this party for Alfred for nearly a year and they were excited to finally see it happen. Bruce helped Dick mount a sign that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED'. They continued laughing about things and their adventures as they set up some more balloons.

"Bruce, do you really think Alfred is going to figure out where we are?"

Bruce smiled at Dick, "Of course he will. He may not be a detective, but he's smarting than he thinks he is. He'll find us in no time. So we'd better act fast."

Dick ran out quickly and grabbed some of the gifts they had gotten for Alfred, with arms loaded he struggled to find his way back into the banquet hall where the party was being held. Bruce took a couple boxes off his hands and laughed at his partner. "This is going to be a great party, isn't it?"

"Of course it will."

Dick smiled widely, he had never felt this good decorating for a party before, he figured it was because he was decorating for someone he loved so dearly. He couldn't believe he had only been with Bruce and Alfred for only a year, he already felt like he was part of the family, "I hope Alfred loves it. He's been so good to me...so good to us. He really deserves the best."

Bruce chuckled, Dick really was getting into decorating and he could tell how much he loved Alfred. Alfred as much as father to Dick as he was to him. Bruce motioned for Dick to come over, and he gave him a big hug. "Alfred is going to love it Dick. Believe me, he's going to love it. Now come on, time to call all the guests!"

**MEANWHILE**

Alfred arrived at the Iceberg Lounge at roughly eight o'clock. Now, he thought to himself, if I were a clue, where would I be? He looked around the front of the restaurant, hoping that he didn't have to try to go inside the dreadful place. The last time he had been in there with Bruce and Dick, Penguin had decided to attack one of the patrons, it was enough to scare the living daylights out him, and it reminded him why never gambled. Bruce and Dick promptly found somewhere to slip off to and came back as Batman and Robin and saved the day. Hopefully their services won't be needed today he thought.

After scanning the outside, Alfred knew he had to go into the lounge. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door slowly, as if somehow, the Penguin would know who he was and who he really worked for. He looked around the dimly lit room, there were a lot of small round tables and he couldn't find any red and yellow colored boxes sitting out in the open. He looked around for anyone who was working there and saw that the Penguin was sitting at a table, counting money. From some sort of underhanded game of cards, he thought.

The short man smoked a cigarette and grumbled to himself. He didn't noticed Alfred standing nearby until he let out a small cough. He glared at Alfred and snapped out, "Now, what can I do for you, wah?"

Alfred steadied his nerve, he knew there was no reason to be nervous around this man, he had no idea who he really was. He coughed again, "Mr. Cobblepott, I believe a package may have been left in your care sir, intended for one Alfred Pennyworth?"

The small man nodded his head slowly and laughed, "You're the billionaire, Bruce Wayne's butler right? Wah wah wah. I have something here for you."

He reached under the table and pulled up the box. It was wrapped in the same red and yellow wrapping paper. Penguin grumbled again as Alfred opened it up, after a moment struggling with some of the packing tape, he managed to find his next clue:

_Alfred,_

_You've braved the Iceberg Lounge, now it's time for you to take the ride of your life!_

_Your second clue is: You might need a mirror to see this one clearly...it's in a house, so have some fun!_

_Love,_

_Bruce_

Alfred scratched his head, in a house? What does that mean? Penguin grumbled again and yelled, "You have your package, now go! I wasn't getting paid for anything other than making sure you got it. Wah wah."

Alfred nodded and left as quickly as he could. He breathed a sigh of relief as he left, I couldn't get away from that dreadful man any faster than I could! Climbing into his car he sat and pondered the clue. He knew it had to be at the amusement park, but the question was where?

His eyes grew wide, "The fun house!"

**MEANWHILE**

Commissioner Gordon regarded the decorations at the concert hall. And blew out a whistle in amazement, "You've really done a great job with this Mr. Wayne."

"Thank you, Commissioner." Bruce said.

"Please, Bruce, we're friends, call me Jim." Gordon replied warmly with a smile.

Dick was busy talking with Barbara excitedly about this and that, she listened intently as he told her tall tales about what he had seen Batman and Robin do the night before. Bruce looked at them and smiled, to be that young again, he thought. "Are you sure they're going to make it Jim?"

Gordon looked at his watch and then back at Bruce, "Of course they are. I already talked to their manager, they landed only an hour ago and are preparing their gear to be brought here."

Bruce smiled, this was shaping up to be a great party. Not only were some of their closest friends going to be there, but one of their favorite bands were going to play a personal concert for them. Alfred would surely be amazed. This was going to be a birthday party for the ages, he thought to himself as he watched Dick and Barbara run off to fetch more decorations.

"Need any more help setting up?" Gordon asked, looking at the decorations with wonderment.

Bruce shook his head, "No, that's fine Jim. Have a some punch and get ready. This is going to be one amazing party!"

**MEANWHILE**

Alfred got out of the car and waded through the crowded parking lot at the amusement park. This was going to take awhile he thought. The line to get into the park seemed to stretch back further and further, it was going to be at least fifteen minutes before he could buy his admission. He was beginning to get a little fed up with this scavenger hunt. He tapped his foot and scanned his watch. Looking around he noticed how many children were there. Small children ran around and screamed, while babies cried out. Adults of all ages grumbled and tugged at their kid's hands, happiest place on earth my foot, he thought to himself with a chuckle. He tried to focus, just get to the fun house, find the clue and get out of there. 

After what had felt like an eternity, he paid for his admission and then made his way to the fun house. The clown painted on the outside looked all too familiar to him. He scratched his head as he felt a shiver down his spine, "Joker," he said to himself, "I do hope he's not in there."

Suddenly he heard laughter behind him. Turning he gasped at the sight of a ghastly looking clown dressed in a gaudy looking purple suit. Dear lord, he thought, please don't let it be him! The clown passed through the crowd, performing tricks for children and shaking hands with adults and laughing like a madman. Alfred tried to avoid eye contact. Don't let him know he saw you, he shuffled his way into the fun house. The room was dark and he could still hear the echoes of the clown laughing outside. His heart was beating fast. I need to find this clue and fast!

He felt his way out of the pitch black first room and came to a room that was lit with black lights. There were all kinds of strange murals painted all over the walls while demented circus music played. The laughter and cries of children and adults could still be heard outside, along with the laughter of the clown outside. Alfred shivered, keep moving old man, he thought. Scurrying onward, he entered the hall of mirrors. This has to be it! He noticed a red and yellow colored box sitting on the floor next to one of the mirrors, he jumped to it and ripped it open as quickly as he could.

_Alfred,_

_You've weaved through the fun house...now it's time for your final clue!_

_You will find Dick and I where you last saw the Gotham City Orchestra perform!_

_Love,_

_Bruce_

Alfred knew exactly where he was going to: Gotham City Concert Hall. He threw the box down and made a quick exit from the fun house, then the park trying like mad to avoid being spotted by the clown. As he sat in his car he breathed a sigh of relief as he started the car and drove off. Finally, he thought, I'm going to see what all this was about!

**AN HOUR LATER**

Bruce tapped his foot nervously. He hoped dearly that Alfred had found all the clues and was on his way. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but he hoped the reward would be worth it for Alfred. He looked at Dick and noticed he was tapping his foot as well. They were both nervous about how he was going to react. The band was ready to play, and all of their friends were there. There was no way this wasn't going to be what Alfred wanted. The multicolored streamers and balloons were scattered everywhere, and the presents and cake and all manner of treats and desserts were laid out on display on the tables.

Everyone was ready.

Alfred opened the doors to the banquet hall and crept into the darkened room. He could hear people shuffling around. Then with a eruption, the lights came on and everyone in the room yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

He was overwhelmed! He couldn't believe how wonderful it was. The sight of all the decorations and gifts and his friends. Alfred's eyes began to well up as he walked over to Bruce and Dick. To think, early that morning he had been worried that the worst was going to happen to to them. He hugged them warmly and said, "Thank you! You have no idea what this means to me sir."

Bruce smiled widely, "It's the least we could do for you Alfred! You've done so much for us!"

Dick nodded and added, "And guess what!"

"What?"

"We've brought some musical entertainment for the party!"

Alfred looked on stage and his eyes grew wide, it was The Beatles! He couldn't believe, but also rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry Master Dick, but that's, it's just," he fought for the right words not wanting to offend Dick, even though he didn't really care for them, "it's wonderful! Just wonderful!"

Alfred smiled warmly at Dick and Bruce, embracing them again as the band played. He was never going to forget this birthday party. Never.

**THE END**


End file.
